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Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Stepfamily Holiday Blues - How to Beat 'em
By Bobby Collins Among the many, many difficulties that stepfamilies face
throughout the
first years of their blending process, enjoying holidays
seems to be one
of the toughest. Your kids and stepkids have had quite a
year, preceding
this season. Now, into the middle of a home still trying to establish some
sort of
familiarity, come the holidays. And, rather than coming as a
break from
the day to day tension, special family celebrations tend to
add to the
confusion and stress. Just when you thought you had some
sort of routine
worked out and that you had figured out this new clan,
everyone goes
completely nuts over a "joyous" occasion. Now you find that dynamite can indeed come in small
packages. Such
minute matters as ... * when to open presents Christmas Eve or Morning, * who
to buy
presents for immediate family or inlaws or
exgrandparents, * what to
fix for a "traditional" holiday family dinner every family has
its own
special traditions that are most important, * or even which
ornaments
from which family get hung where on the family Christmas
tree, ... can have normally civilized families (which leaves out
many
stepfamilies!) at each other's throats. Well, here are a dozen suggestions to help ease the way.
(Sort of a "12
Ways of Christmas.") These suggestions come from a
variety of sources,
including our own experiences and those of the hundreds of
stepfamilies
we've worked with. I'll aHave a Blue Christmas What is it about the end of year holidays Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and
New Years that cause so much insanity in so many
people? Even
welladjusted, normal folks seem to shut down their
reasoning skills at these
times. And that's the normal minority of families who aren't
dealing with the
added bonuses we stepfamilies enjoy. We get to sweat over the logistics and timetables of not one,
but two
households' holiday schedules. Just as you are frantically
trying to
coordinate everyone's schedule in your family, your ex
informs you that
he'll have to have the kids that same day for his time with
them. And
you have to go along, because the kids have to celebrate at
their dad's
house, too. We also are visited by Ghosts of Christmases Past, carrying
bittersweet
memories of other family celebrations. None of the
memories are
painless. Bad memories of, for example, the year your
spouse got drunk and tore
open all the presents before the kids could get to them will
always be
part of our internal photo album, which opens whenever we
hear certain
carols or smell egg nog. But the good memories of that happy former family
enjoying the perfect
Christmas when the kids were so little and sweet those
can be just as
painful and disturbing in the midst of the chaos of a
blending family's
labor pains. We Wish For A Merry Christmas So, the seasonal insanity of the holidays isn't the sole
property of
stepfamilies. As noted earlier, everyone seems to suffer
from the virus,
but holidays are much tougher on stepparents. So much
tougher, in fact,
that many civil courts make a practice of allowing extra time
on their
dockets at this time of year for the flood of custodyrelated
cases. Harsh statistics reveal how hard the blending process can
be. While many
shake their heads over the nearly 50% divorce rate across
America, most
dont realize that the divorce rate for stepfamilies is closer to
65 to
85 percent for second and third marriages! I believe that
holiday
pressures contribute a great deal to that failure record. It takes a wholefamily effort to overcome the stigma and
the hazards of
blending two families with two backgrounds (which include
failures and
pain) into a new single family with a future. Some exfamily
members
never go away nor should they. Holiday gatherings usually involve past relationships that
many feel
would be easier left in the past. It is vitally important though,
especially for stepkids, to maintain contact with their roots.
Stepkids
suffer such disassociation with so many factors of the new
life that
grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins provide
necessary anchors of
assurance for them. However, right in the middle of a onceayear reunion,
tempers can flare
and old fights may be revived and more damage than good
may result. It is natural that these pressures build. What is not natural is
forgetting to care for your children's needs before your own.
All
stepfamilies experience tension, fears, frustrations, and
sadness over
unfulfilled dreams. Where the damage manifests itself during the holidays is
when you either
hold the pressure in until it explodes, or you withdraw from
the world
by natural or chemical means. If we don't deal with our
wounds, they
will fester and kill us. On top of the internal pressure is external conflict. Both
stepkids and
adults feel like outsiders in their own home because of new
family
members who are strangers. Stepkids are expected to
develop an immediate
family feeling for people they know nothing about. At best,
many
stepchildren at family gatherings are treated like honorary
homeless
guests invited in as a token of Christmas kindness. But what can you do? Have A Holly Jolly Christmas Here are some steps you can take to help your family and
you have a
more enjoyable holiday season. These ideas come from a
multitude of
sources. Some are things we have discovered in our own
family. Others
come from the hundreds of stepfamilies we have met with
over the years
in support groups we hold in person and over the Internet.
And still
others have been gleaned from emails sent to our web
site
(www.stepcarefully.com). On the FIRST day of Christmas: Begin your holiday survival plan by acknowledging to
yourself, and for
every member of your new family, that it's OK to feel sad
during "happy
holidays". Allow for some down time, but don't stay there. These
feelings that
we've discussed and which you are starting to feel are
natural. They are
shared by nearly every stepfamily around the world over 20
million in
America alone! Realize where you are in your life. This is a starting point to
a whole
future. Statistics show over and over that it takes an average
of four
to seven years for stepfamilies to blend. Too many couples
enter into a
stepfamily with unrealistic dreams that they will fall right into
a
happy home life in the first year or the first months, even! Accept that blending two families is tough, everyone has the
same fears.
Then move on. This is just one holiday season. Get through
this one with
at least some good times, and the next one will be easier. On the SECOND day of Christmas: Develop flexibility in your holiday plans. Everything doesn't
have to be
perfect. Again, realize that this is one celebration out of
many to
come. Next year, everyone will be a little more familiar with
each
other, a little more accepting. This is just one step in the
blending
process, not the whole thing. Being in a stepfamily means dealing with multiple family
plans. Your ex
or you spouse's ex will most likely have family
celebration plans of
their own, involving your kids. Naturally, it will be easier if you
can
work together in cooperation to coordinate both sets of
parents'
programs. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen very often. If
your
spouse's plans conflict with yours, you will have to find a
way to
compromise. More on this later. Remember that the purpose of family holidays is supposed
to be for loved
ones to gather and well, love each other. If your family gets
snippy
about the seating arrangements around the dinner table,
love them
anyway. You are building a new family, with new traditions.
Maybe one of
those new traditions can be that little things don't matter so
much. On the THIRD Day of Christmas: Keep a holiday journal of this, and every coming, holiday
gathering. Without some perspective, you will likely feel that
you are making no progress. But you will make progress. So, keep a journal. Record in it gifts given by and to whom,
where you
went, and some of the more notable things said and done.
These days are
valuable lessons, don't lose them. On the FOURTH Day of Christmas: Concentrate on making these Holy Days instead of
holidays. Through the
years, commercialism and frantic expectations have
distracted us from
the true reason we celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, the
New Year, and
Easter. Some families even hold birthday parties for Jesus! Rather
than give all
the gifts to each other, the best gifts go to homeless, poor,
or sick
families nearby. Whether you are a Christian, or you practice
another
faith, or none at all, this practice can move your holiday
mindset from
competition and frustration to reflection and patience. On the FIFTH Day of Christmas: Begin new traditions just for your new family. Every family,
every clan,
every culture has its own special traditions for holiday
celebrations.
You developed deeply rooted patterns in your former
household, and so
did your spouse's family. Many stepfamily conflicts involve
couples
trying to continue to do things the same way they always did
them. This
is a recipe for trouble! Far better, many believe, is to scrap all the old ways and find
new
traditions. Begin by letting everyone have a say about what
they would
like to do. You may have to push past some resistance as
members try to
hold on to old memories of what they did before. But it is
important
that everyone is part of the process. If one member tries to
force their
opinion or ideas on the whole group, it usually won't work as
well. Keep
a positive attitude about the process. Everyone can participate in passing out food or gifts at
homeless
shelters, orphanages, or halfway houses. Adopt a family to
share your
abundance with. Don't just give money; get the kids involved.
Let them
see how much more fortunate they are to live in your
stepfamily! Have a cookout. If you live somewhere warm, that's OK, but
this activity
will be more of an adventure if there is snow involved! Roast
hot dogs
and marshmallows. Look at the stars in the crisp, cold sky.
Tell
Christmas stories. Carols are optional. The point is to look for new activities you can repeat year
after year
to develop a kinship between the new family members. The
second, third,
and fourth times you do this, it will feel more comfortable,
and it will
bring back memories of this family's holidays. On the SIXTH Day of Christmas: Exchange life stories. Have the whole family as many as
you can gather
together, old and new prepare a short description of their
favorite
memory. This story can be about a funny time, a painful time, a trip, a
lost
friend, etc. No one needs to comment on the stories. If the
stepkids want to talk
about old times when mom and dad were still together,
that's OK. Spouses
should refrain from that, though. As the stories are told, look for insights into the teller's
personality
and dreams. You may get a glimpse of how your stepkids
really feel. Some
games, such as LifeStories, can be useful here to help
every one get to
know one another better. On the SEVENTH Day of Christmas: Switch days to celebrate to ease the pressure. If your kids'
noncustodial parent must (or just chooses to) have your
kids on the
holiday, you may want to consider this alternative. Many
stepparents
have found that having flexibility in this area makes everyone
more
relaxed. Tell them you want them to have two Christmases this year,
one with Dad
and one with you and stepdad. Then, don't scrimp on the
festivities.
Whatever new traditions you're going to practice, give them
as much
attention as your other activities. This brings up a very important point. The primary focus of
most holiday
celebrations is the children. However, in trying to give our
kids the
best holiday experience, we can get carried away. If your
honest desire
is to make you kids happy this season, then think of them
first. Constant bickering, tension and pressure to be happy
and have fun, and tug of wars over whose home, when will
not produce the desired result. Compromise, then make up lost time when they come
home. On the EIGHTH Day of Christmas: If your kids do have to travel to visit Dad, don't whine about it.
Family ties are important to all children, but especially so for
stepkids. After spending all year in a new home with new family
members to adjust
to, your kids probably will feel relieved to be back around
familiar
faces. Let them. Don't fret or obsess about their being gone.
Enjoy the free time; find some time just for yourself at least
every other day. When plans are being made for your kids' or stepkids' visit
away from
home, look for positives about the trip. Make sure you don't
make them
feel guilty about wanting to see their parent. It should go without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that you
should
take care to never ever put down your ex or your
spouse's ex in
front of their kids. Never tell your children how awful you
think their
Dad or Mom is! First of all, you wouldn't want them to hear
the same
sort of thing about you. And secondly, regardless of how you
feel about
him, he is still your kids daddy. To belittle him belittles them,
in
their eyes. On the NINTH Day of Christmas: If kids come to visit you for the holidays, don't neglect them.
Whether
they are your own children, for whom your spouse has
custody, or your
stepkids, make them part of everything that goes on. They are not ropes for a tug of war game. They are not
enemy spies from
the ex. They are children hoping to have some enjoyment
during a special
time of the year, in a place that is not their home. You have
the power
to make a positive or a negative impact on them. Children who visit their other parent's home seem to fall into
two
categories. They are either an extended part of the family, or
complete
outsiders. Kids who visit every other weekend or just twice a
year
deserve some permanent consideration. Make sure they
are comfortable and
settled. They're not pets dropped off on you for a kennel stay. (Can
you say, "Grinch"?) They are children who are basically at
the mercy of your courtesies. If you live in a small house and
have little extra money, be creative. Save up and buy (or even
borrow) some furniture a bed, a chest of drawers it
doesn't have to be a lot. The
point is to make an effort just for them out of love. These could be the kids who care for you when you are old! On the TENTH Day of Christmas: Wear thicker skin over the holidays. As the inevitable
pressures build
(in those unfortunate enough to have not read this book!), be
prepared
to be an example of patience and lovingkindness. Be careful that you don't lose control of yourself and damage
relationships you have to maintain throughout the rest of the
year.
Someone has to be the adult, it might as well be you. And
don't be a
martyr about it, telling everyone how tough it is, just do it with
a
smile. Even if no one else appreciates your strength, you
can feel proud
of yourself on January 4th! The kids who come visit you may very well be less than
gracious about your efforts to include them and make them
feel comfortable. Never mind. It's not really important how
well someone receives a gift from you. It's how you give the
gift that matters. The visiting kids may have been "prepped" by their mom or
dad to expect
you to be a monster, so they are putting up the best defense
a good
offense. Well, you just prove to them what kind of a person
you really
are! And you will, good or bad. On the ELEVENTH Day of Christmas: Get back into your daily routine as quickly as possible.
Children (and
adults, too) thrive on consistency. Give them assurance that
nothing
major changed over the holidays, unless it was for the good
by
strengthening ties. Through all the families we've worked with, it has become
increasingly
clear that kids need order in their lives. They want rules and
directions and security. Oh, they will deny it to the death! But
stepkids who have opened up to me have by and large
agreed that it makes
them feel safe and cared for to know what the rules are and
that they
will be enforced regularly. This tells them that their parents
are
willing to make an effort to raise them. It's easy to just let things go. Its harder to insist on
obedience. On the TWELFTH Day of Christmas: Keep your perspective. What's the bottom line in dealing
with holiday
madness in a stepfamily? The same three C's we teach in
all our
resources at STEPCarefully! Caring, Consideration, and
Common sense. ** Care for your loved ones. Care about how you are
teaching them to be
adults. Care about the reputation you will be carrying
through life. ** Be Considerate of others' feelings. Show consideration
and respect
for your new family's need for a solid, peaceful home. ** Use Common sense in handling problems. Some of the
battles just
aren't worth the effort. Common sense means backing up to
look at the
larger picture. Is this particular old holiday custom worth
fighting
over? Or would you be better off letting it go and trying
something
else. For the sake of your kids, act like Christian adults! It's
Christmas,
don't blaspheme the holiday by destroying what you've
taught all year
long. By Bobby Collins
Copyright 1999 -------------------------
[IMPORTANT NOTE: this text version is copied from our
original resource by the name "Beat the Holiday Blues",
which is copyrighted 1999, Bobby Collins,
http://www.stepcarefully.com, and all international copyright
restrictions apply. Please be careful to include the copyright
and contact information.] Bobby Collins is a stepdad first, then a minister, a certified
family mediator, and founder of STEP-Carefully! for
Stepparents!, the largest faith-based support organization
for stepfamilies in the country. His articles have appeared in
national publications and he has appeared on national TV
and radio programs always teaching stepparents how to
have healthier, happier families. His organization can be
reached on the Internet at http://www.stepcarefully.com
where visitors will find free articles, a free newsletter, and a
book store with proven stepfamily resources for sale.
Collins is best known for his private family mediation
between husbands and wives, ex-spouses, and
stepparents and their stepkids. With over a decade of
experience, he has helped thousands of stepfamilies
survive and succeed. Contact him directly at
coach@stepcarefully.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bobby_Collins http://EzineArticles.com/?Stepfamily-Holiday-Blues---How-to-Beat-em&id=43761 order phentermine online no prescription
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throughout the
first years of their blending process, enjoying holidays
seems to be one
of the toughest. Your kids and stepkids have had quite a
year, preceding
this season. Now, into the middle of a home still trying to establish some
sort of
familiarity, come the holidays. And, rather than coming as a
break from
the day to day tension, special family celebrations tend to
add to the
confusion and stress. Just when you thought you had some
sort of routine
worked out and that you had figured out this new clan,
everyone goes
completely nuts over a "joyous" occasion. Now you find that dynamite can indeed come in small
packages. Such
minute matters as ... * when to open presents Christmas Eve or Morning, * who
to buy
presents for immediate family or inlaws or
exgrandparents, * what to
fix for a "traditional" holiday family dinner every family has
its own
special traditions that are most important, * or even which
ornaments
from which family get hung where on the family Christmas
tree, ... can have normally civilized families (which leaves out
many
stepfamilies!) at each other's throats. Well, here are a dozen suggestions to help ease the way.
(Sort of a "12
Ways of Christmas.") These suggestions come from a
variety of sources,
including our own experiences and those of the hundreds of
stepfamilies
we've worked with. I'll aHave a Blue Christmas What is it about the end of year holidays Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and
New Years that cause so much insanity in so many
people? Even
welladjusted, normal folks seem to shut down their
reasoning skills at these
times. And that's the normal minority of families who aren't
dealing with the
added bonuses we stepfamilies enjoy. We get to sweat over the logistics and timetables of not one,
but two
households' holiday schedules. Just as you are frantically
trying to
coordinate everyone's schedule in your family, your ex
informs you that
he'll have to have the kids that same day for his time with
them. And
you have to go along, because the kids have to celebrate at
their dad's
house, too. We also are visited by Ghosts of Christmases Past, carrying
bittersweet
memories of other family celebrations. None of the
memories are
painless. Bad memories of, for example, the year your
spouse got drunk and tore
open all the presents before the kids could get to them will
always be
part of our internal photo album, which opens whenever we
hear certain
carols or smell egg nog. But the good memories of that happy former family
enjoying the perfect
Christmas when the kids were so little and sweet those
can be just as
painful and disturbing in the midst of the chaos of a
blending family's
labor pains. We Wish For A Merry Christmas So, the seasonal insanity of the holidays isn't the sole
property of
stepfamilies. As noted earlier, everyone seems to suffer
from the virus,
but holidays are much tougher on stepparents. So much
tougher, in fact,
that many civil courts make a practice of allowing extra time
on their
dockets at this time of year for the flood of custodyrelated
cases. Harsh statistics reveal how hard the blending process can
be. While many
shake their heads over the nearly 50% divorce rate across
America, most
dont realize that the divorce rate for stepfamilies is closer to
65 to
85 percent for second and third marriages! I believe that
holiday
pressures contribute a great deal to that failure record. It takes a wholefamily effort to overcome the stigma and
the hazards of
blending two families with two backgrounds (which include
failures and
pain) into a new single family with a future. Some exfamily
members
never go away nor should they. Holiday gatherings usually involve past relationships that
many feel
would be easier left in the past. It is vitally important though,
especially for stepkids, to maintain contact with their roots.
Stepkids
suffer such disassociation with so many factors of the new
life that
grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins provide
necessary anchors of
assurance for them. However, right in the middle of a onceayear reunion,
tempers can flare
and old fights may be revived and more damage than good
may result. It is natural that these pressures build. What is not natural is
forgetting to care for your children's needs before your own.
All
stepfamilies experience tension, fears, frustrations, and
sadness over
unfulfilled dreams. Where the damage manifests itself during the holidays is
when you either
hold the pressure in until it explodes, or you withdraw from
the world
by natural or chemical means. If we don't deal with our
wounds, they
will fester and kill us. On top of the internal pressure is external conflict. Both
stepkids and
adults feel like outsiders in their own home because of new
family
members who are strangers. Stepkids are expected to
develop an immediate
family feeling for people they know nothing about. At best,
many
stepchildren at family gatherings are treated like honorary
homeless
guests invited in as a token of Christmas kindness. But what can you do? Have A Holly Jolly Christmas Here are some steps you can take to help your family and
you have a
more enjoyable holiday season. These ideas come from a
multitude of
sources. Some are things we have discovered in our own
family. Others
come from the hundreds of stepfamilies we have met with
over the years
in support groups we hold in person and over the Internet.
And still
others have been gleaned from emails sent to our web
site
(www.stepcarefully.com). On the FIRST day of Christmas: Begin your holiday survival plan by acknowledging to
yourself, and for
every member of your new family, that it's OK to feel sad
during "happy
holidays". Allow for some down time, but don't stay there. These
feelings that
we've discussed and which you are starting to feel are
natural. They are
shared by nearly every stepfamily around the world over 20
million in
America alone! Realize where you are in your life. This is a starting point to
a whole
future. Statistics show over and over that it takes an average
of four
to seven years for stepfamilies to blend. Too many couples
enter into a
stepfamily with unrealistic dreams that they will fall right into
a
happy home life in the first year or the first months, even! Accept that blending two families is tough, everyone has the
same fears.
Then move on. This is just one holiday season. Get through
this one with
at least some good times, and the next one will be easier. On the SECOND day of Christmas: Develop flexibility in your holiday plans. Everything doesn't
have to be
perfect. Again, realize that this is one celebration out of
many to
come. Next year, everyone will be a little more familiar with
each
other, a little more accepting. This is just one step in the
blending
process, not the whole thing. Being in a stepfamily means dealing with multiple family
plans. Your ex
or you spouse's ex will most likely have family
celebration plans of
their own, involving your kids. Naturally, it will be easier if you
can
work together in cooperation to coordinate both sets of
parents'
programs. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen very often. If
your
spouse's plans conflict with yours, you will have to find a
way to
compromise. More on this later. Remember that the purpose of family holidays is supposed
to be for loved
ones to gather and well, love each other. If your family gets
snippy
about the seating arrangements around the dinner table,
love them
anyway. You are building a new family, with new traditions.
Maybe one of
those new traditions can be that little things don't matter so
much. On the THIRD Day of Christmas: Keep a holiday journal of this, and every coming, holiday
gathering. Without some perspective, you will likely feel that
you are making no progress. But you will make progress. So, keep a journal. Record in it gifts given by and to whom,
where you
went, and some of the more notable things said and done.
These days are
valuable lessons, don't lose them. On the FOURTH Day of Christmas: Concentrate on making these Holy Days instead of
holidays. Through the
years, commercialism and frantic expectations have
distracted us from
the true reason we celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, the
New Year, and
Easter. Some families even hold birthday parties for Jesus! Rather
than give all
the gifts to each other, the best gifts go to homeless, poor,
or sick
families nearby. Whether you are a Christian, or you practice
another
faith, or none at all, this practice can move your holiday
mindset from
competition and frustration to reflection and patience. On the FIFTH Day of Christmas: Begin new traditions just for your new family. Every family,
every clan,
every culture has its own special traditions for holiday
celebrations.
You developed deeply rooted patterns in your former
household, and so
did your spouse's family. Many stepfamily conflicts involve
couples
trying to continue to do things the same way they always did
them. This
is a recipe for trouble! Far better, many believe, is to scrap all the old ways and find
new
traditions. Begin by letting everyone have a say about what
they would
like to do. You may have to push past some resistance as
members try to
hold on to old memories of what they did before. But it is
important
that everyone is part of the process. If one member tries to
force their
opinion or ideas on the whole group, it usually won't work as
well. Keep
a positive attitude about the process. Everyone can participate in passing out food or gifts at
homeless
shelters, orphanages, or halfway houses. Adopt a family to
share your
abundance with. Don't just give money; get the kids involved.
Let them
see how much more fortunate they are to live in your
stepfamily! Have a cookout. If you live somewhere warm, that's OK, but
this activity
will be more of an adventure if there is snow involved! Roast
hot dogs
and marshmallows. Look at the stars in the crisp, cold sky.
Tell
Christmas stories. Carols are optional. The point is to look for new activities you can repeat year
after year
to develop a kinship between the new family members. The
second, third,
and fourth times you do this, it will feel more comfortable,
and it will
bring back memories of this family's holidays. On the SIXTH Day of Christmas: Exchange life stories. Have the whole family as many as
you can gather
together, old and new prepare a short description of their
favorite
memory. This story can be about a funny time, a painful time, a trip, a
lost
friend, etc. No one needs to comment on the stories. If the
stepkids want to talk
about old times when mom and dad were still together,
that's OK. Spouses
should refrain from that, though. As the stories are told, look for insights into the teller's
personality
and dreams. You may get a glimpse of how your stepkids
really feel. Some
games, such as LifeStories, can be useful here to help
every one get to
know one another better. On the SEVENTH Day of Christmas: Switch days to celebrate to ease the pressure. If your kids'
noncustodial parent must (or just chooses to) have your
kids on the
holiday, you may want to consider this alternative. Many
stepparents
have found that having flexibility in this area makes everyone
more
relaxed. Tell them you want them to have two Christmases this year,
one with Dad
and one with you and stepdad. Then, don't scrimp on the
festivities.
Whatever new traditions you're going to practice, give them
as much
attention as your other activities. This brings up a very important point. The primary focus of
most holiday
celebrations is the children. However, in trying to give our
kids the
best holiday experience, we can get carried away. If your
honest desire
is to make you kids happy this season, then think of them
first. Constant bickering, tension and pressure to be happy
and have fun, and tug of wars over whose home, when will
not produce the desired result. Compromise, then make up lost time when they come
home. On the EIGHTH Day of Christmas: If your kids do have to travel to visit Dad, don't whine about it.
Family ties are important to all children, but especially so for
stepkids. After spending all year in a new home with new family
members to adjust
to, your kids probably will feel relieved to be back around
familiar
faces. Let them. Don't fret or obsess about their being gone.
Enjoy the free time; find some time just for yourself at least
every other day. When plans are being made for your kids' or stepkids' visit
away from
home, look for positives about the trip. Make sure you don't
make them
feel guilty about wanting to see their parent. It should go without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that you
should
take care to never ever put down your ex or your
spouse's ex in
front of their kids. Never tell your children how awful you
think their
Dad or Mom is! First of all, you wouldn't want them to hear
the same
sort of thing about you. And secondly, regardless of how you
feel about
him, he is still your kids daddy. To belittle him belittles them,
in
their eyes. On the NINTH Day of Christmas: If kids come to visit you for the holidays, don't neglect them.
Whether
they are your own children, for whom your spouse has
custody, or your
stepkids, make them part of everything that goes on. They are not ropes for a tug of war game. They are not
enemy spies from
the ex. They are children hoping to have some enjoyment
during a special
time of the year, in a place that is not their home. You have
the power
to make a positive or a negative impact on them. Children who visit their other parent's home seem to fall into
two
categories. They are either an extended part of the family, or
complete
outsiders. Kids who visit every other weekend or just twice a
year
deserve some permanent consideration. Make sure they
are comfortable and
settled. They're not pets dropped off on you for a kennel stay. (Can
you say, "Grinch"?) They are children who are basically at
the mercy of your courtesies. If you live in a small house and
have little extra money, be creative. Save up and buy (or even
borrow) some furniture a bed, a chest of drawers it
doesn't have to be a lot. The
point is to make an effort just for them out of love. These could be the kids who care for you when you are old! On the TENTH Day of Christmas: Wear thicker skin over the holidays. As the inevitable
pressures build
(in those unfortunate enough to have not read this book!), be
prepared
to be an example of patience and lovingkindness. Be careful that you don't lose control of yourself and damage
relationships you have to maintain throughout the rest of the
year.
Someone has to be the adult, it might as well be you. And
don't be a
martyr about it, telling everyone how tough it is, just do it with
a
smile. Even if no one else appreciates your strength, you
can feel proud
of yourself on January 4th! The kids who come visit you may very well be less than
gracious about your efforts to include them and make them
feel comfortable. Never mind. It's not really important how
well someone receives a gift from you. It's how you give the
gift that matters. The visiting kids may have been "prepped" by their mom or
dad to expect
you to be a monster, so they are putting up the best defense
a good
offense. Well, you just prove to them what kind of a person
you really
are! And you will, good or bad. On the ELEVENTH Day of Christmas: Get back into your daily routine as quickly as possible.
Children (and
adults, too) thrive on consistency. Give them assurance that
nothing
major changed over the holidays, unless it was for the good
by
strengthening ties. Through all the families we've worked with, it has become
increasingly
clear that kids need order in their lives. They want rules and
directions and security. Oh, they will deny it to the death! But
stepkids who have opened up to me have by and large
agreed that it makes
them feel safe and cared for to know what the rules are and
that they
will be enforced regularly. This tells them that their parents
are
willing to make an effort to raise them. It's easy to just let things go. Its harder to insist on
obedience. On the TWELFTH Day of Christmas: Keep your perspective. What's the bottom line in dealing
with holiday
madness in a stepfamily? The same three C's we teach in
all our
resources at STEPCarefully! Caring, Consideration, and
Common sense. ** Care for your loved ones. Care about how you are
teaching them to be
adults. Care about the reputation you will be carrying
through life. ** Be Considerate of others' feelings. Show consideration
and respect
for your new family's need for a solid, peaceful home. ** Use Common sense in handling problems. Some of the
battles just
aren't worth the effort. Common sense means backing up to
look at the
larger picture. Is this particular old holiday custom worth
fighting
over? Or would you be better off letting it go and trying
something
else. For the sake of your kids, act like Christian adults! It's
Christmas,
don't blaspheme the holiday by destroying what you've
taught all year
long. By Bobby Collins
Copyright 1999 -------------------------
[IMPORTANT NOTE: this text version is copied from our
original resource by the name "Beat the Holiday Blues",
which is copyrighted 1999, Bobby Collins,
http://www.stepcarefully.com, and all international copyright
restrictions apply. Please be careful to include the copyright
and contact information.] Bobby Collins is a stepdad first, then a minister, a certified
family mediator, and founder of STEP-Carefully! for
Stepparents!, the largest faith-based support organization
for stepfamilies in the country. His articles have appeared in
national publications and he has appeared on national TV
and radio programs always teaching stepparents how to
have healthier, happier families. His organization can be
reached on the Internet at http://www.stepcarefully.com
where visitors will find free articles, a free newsletter, and a
book store with proven stepfamily resources for sale.
Collins is best known for his private family mediation
between husbands and wives, ex-spouses, and
stepparents and their stepkids. With over a decade of
experience, he has helped thousands of stepfamilies
survive and succeed. Contact him directly at
coach@stepcarefully.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bobby_Collins http://EzineArticles.com/?Stepfamily-Holiday-Blues---How-to-Beat-em&id=43761 order phentermine online no prescription
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Monday, January 28, 2008
Employment � Discrimination - Victimisation � Three Step Procedure � Outside Time Limit
By Rosanna Cooper In the recent case of Mehta v University of London and others [2006], the applicant was a doctor who applied to the second respondent for medical training on 8th August 2003. The second respondent was a body within the University of London (the first respondent). On 6th October the applicant received a letter from the second respondent dated 2nd October. The letter stated that his application had been unsuccessful. The applicant claimed that he wrote back on 12th December to ask for detailed feedback as to why he had not been admitted to establish whether he had a legal claim against the respondents. He received no reply, and the second respondent claimed that no such letter was received. The applicants original application was presented to the Employment Tribunal on 13th January 2004 he claimed discrimination and victimisation. On 17th January the Employment Tribunal dismissed the claim orally on the ground that it had been presented after the three month time limit. The Employment Tribunal also said it would not be just and equitable to extend the time limit. In addition, at a full hearing on 4th March, it was considered whether the other claims made by the applicant should be struck out due to the Employment Tribunal not having jurisdiction to hear them. Eventually, at the full hearing, the Employment Tribunal decided against the applicant who promptly stormed out of the room. The respondents made an application for costs. The tribunal declined to consider the costs application in the absence of the applicant, and adjourned the case until 20th May. When the case came to be heard, one of the lay members who was present on 17th and 4th was absent, and the applicant was not happy to proceed with just two members. A new lay member was appointed and the Employment Tribunal heard oral and written evidence from both sides, as well as a witness statements and oral evidence from the applicant. The Employment Tribunal held that the costs of the hearings on the 4th and 20th were attributable to applicants unreasonable conduct in bringing his remaining claims which were both misconceived and unreasonable. The applicant appealed to the Employment Appeals Tribunal. His appeal was dismissed for the following reasons: * For the purposes of the three month time limit, time ran from the date of the act of discrimination or victimisation. The act which the applicant was relying on in bringing the claim was the failure by the respondent to shortlist him for a position on the training course. This occurred at the very latest by 6th October, when he received the letter rejecting him. As the original application was presented to the Employment Tribunal only on 13th January, the deadline had been missed and the Employment Tribunal had not erred in treating the application as being out of time. * It was clear that the Employment Tribunal had considered not proceeding with the claim. They decided that in the interests of the overriding objective they should appoint a new lay member in order to dispose of the issues before them fairly and expeditiously. The new Employment Tribunal heard extensive and new submissions from the applicant. This meant it was not inappropriate for them to consider the issues of fact relating to the March hearing, despite the Employment Tribunal being made up of only two of the original three members. RT COOPERS, 2006. This Briefing Note does not provide a comprehensive or complete statement of the law relating to the issues discussed nor does it constitute legal advice. It is intended only to highlight general issues. Specialist legal advice should always be sought in relation to particular circumstances. Media Law & employment law firm advising media and entertainment industry films, TV, Television, Music lawyers, Media Lawyers, Entertainment Lawyers Media Contract, Employment solicitors, employment law, employment lawyers, employment law firm, Redundancies, Unfair Dismissals, Breach of Contract, Workplace Disputes, TUPE Transfers, Drafting Employment Contracts, Grievance Procedures, Disciplinary Procedures, Maternity Rights,Discrimination, Employment Disputes, suspensions, wrongful dismissal, Equal Pay, Media Copyright. Please contact us for advice on employment law at enquiries@rtcoopers.com or Visit http://www.rtcoopers.com/practice_employment.php Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rosanna_Cooper http://EzineArticles.com/?Employment---Discrimination---Victimisation---Three-Step-Procedure---Outside-Time-Limit&id=363497 buy phentermine blue
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Sunday, January 27, 2008
Carpal Tunnel FAQ
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Susan_Lawson] Susan Lawson What is Carpal Tunnel? Carpal tunnel and carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS) is an injury or disease process caused by a pinched or impingement of the nerve(s) in the wrist, resulting in pain and numbness in the fingers and muscle weakness of the thumb. The name carpal tunnel receives its name from the bones in the wrist, called carpals, which form a tunnel through which the nerves pass through. What are the Signs of Carpal Tunnel? Possible signs and symptoms: Pain and / or tingling in one or both hands or fingers, frequently worse during activity or at night Feeling of weakness in the fingers, difficulty to squeeze or hold things Sensation that fingers are swollen even though little or no swelling is showing Loss of strength in gripping or carrying items Pain shooting from the hand up the arm as far as the neck or shoulder It is important, if you believe you are suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome, to consult a qualified physician and health professionals for treatment options. Not everybody who has carpal tunnel syndrome experiences the condition at the same level, and a treatment that is suitable for one person may not be necessary for another. What are the causes of Carpal Tunnel pain? The carpal tunnel is filled with tendons (attaching muscle to bone) that control finger and thumb movement. Tasks requiring highly repetitive and stressful movements of the wrist can cause pinching of the nerve(s) resulting in swelling and inflammation around the tendons, producing carpal tunnel. Injuries to the neck can damage nerves to the hands and wrists (known as Double Crush Syndrome) which also can cause carpal tunnel symptoms. This is common in whiplash injuries such as auto accidents. Because pathway of the nerves to the hands connect all the way up to neck, any pinching or impingement at the neck (the first crush) or along this pathway can actually affect recovery and healing. Such impingement of these nerves can make them more susceptible or vulnerable to carpal tunnel syndrome (the second crush). The double crush phenomenon and is widely referenced in the scientific and medical research as a consistent finding in patients with carpal tunnel syndrome and can explain why some patients do not recover with care. Often times in a sudden injury a patients can suffer double crush syndrome to the neck area. If the patient suffering from double crush syndrome and is just treated for carpal tunnel syndrome only, often times the treatment is not only ineffective, but the symptoms can get worse. Such advanced stages can become quite serious, involving a loss of sensation, muscle deterioration, and permanent loss of function. It is important for the patient to be check for this syndrome. Other possible causes include late stage pregnancy, disease processes, or even poor posture. Poor posture problems in particular are often overlooked when patients seek treatment.
What is the Therapy for Carpal Tunnel? Many doctors and health professionals have access to different types of treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome. Treatments choices range from simple pain relief to long term active patient care. Possible methods of treatment can include rehabilitation, carpal tunnel wrist brace, traction, exercises, stretches, soft tissue massage, medication, injections, physical therapy, chiropractic, acupuncture or other types of care. In advance cases surgery can become an option. As with any other health condition, it is very important that you talk with your doctor or other qualified health professional about possible carpal tunnel treatment or any other alternative care that he or she can recommend. Regardless of the treatment, it is important that the carpal tunnel sufferer maintain good communication with their doctor or health professionals on treatment progress. As the patient improves under care, outside care and activities also need to be reviewed and addressed. Susan Lawson is a successful Webmaster and healthcare advocate web publisher. For more information and answers for carpal tunnel syndrome relief try visiting both [http://www.carpaltunnelinfo.bravehost.com/] http://www.carpaltunnelinfo.bravehost.com/ and [http://ctsnaturalrelief.bravehost.com] http://ctsnaturalrelief.bravehost.com for natural carpal tunnel relief measures Article Source: [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Susan_Lawson ] http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Lawson [http://ezinearticles.com/?Carpal-Tunnel-FAQ&id=558248 ] http://EzineArticles.com/?Carpal-Tunnel-FAQ&id=558248 phentermine 37.5 without a prescription
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What is the Therapy for Carpal Tunnel? Many doctors and health professionals have access to different types of treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome. Treatments choices range from simple pain relief to long term active patient care. Possible methods of treatment can include rehabilitation, carpal tunnel wrist brace, traction, exercises, stretches, soft tissue massage, medication, injections, physical therapy, chiropractic, acupuncture or other types of care. In advance cases surgery can become an option. As with any other health condition, it is very important that you talk with your doctor or other qualified health professional about possible carpal tunnel treatment or any other alternative care that he or she can recommend. Regardless of the treatment, it is important that the carpal tunnel sufferer maintain good communication with their doctor or health professionals on treatment progress. As the patient improves under care, outside care and activities also need to be reviewed and addressed. Susan Lawson is a successful Webmaster and healthcare advocate web publisher. For more information and answers for carpal tunnel syndrome relief try visiting both [http://www.carpaltunnelinfo.bravehost.com/] http://www.carpaltunnelinfo.bravehost.com/ and [http://ctsnaturalrelief.bravehost.com] http://ctsnaturalrelief.bravehost.com for natural carpal tunnel relief measures Article Source: [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Susan_Lawson ] http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Lawson [http://ezinearticles.com/?Carpal-Tunnel-FAQ&id=558248 ] http://EzineArticles.com/?Carpal-Tunnel-FAQ&id=558248 phentermine 37.5 without a prescription
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Saturday, January 26, 2008
A New World Record Bass
By Charles White Many people go to Florida to fish for that trophy bass but did you know that 4 other states have a bigger state record than Florida? Not only that but one of the states is said to have produced a new world record.
Florida's record bass is 17.27 pounds, but others often cite an uncertified fish of 20.125 pounds (a fisheries biologist did not physically see the fish to certify it). Leaha Trew supposely caught a new world record largemouth in California. It weighed 22 pounds, 8 ounces, beating George Perry's 1932 record catch by 4 ounces. The problem is there was only one picture taken of it and it wasn't certified by a biologist or a California state fish and game offical. Where is the next world record coming from? Florida, Georgia, Mississippi or Texas? More than likely it will be from California. Gregg Silks has already caught 2 bass over twenty pounds and says he has lost a world record fish of 24 pounds. Who is to argue with him since he knows what 20 pound plus bass look like? 22 of 25 of the largest bass ever recorded has come from California. The next world record bass in my opinion, is going to be from the lakes of San Diego water system. Just look at the stats: Dixon: 21 pounds 11 ounce bass Jennings: 18 pounds plus Murray: 18 pounds plus Poway: 18 pound 2 ounce These are just a few of the lakes, all the lakes holds monster bass. Not only that, there are big bass all over California, Leaha Trew caught her bass in Sonoma County. While I am not taking anything away from Florida, as I have lived there and seen many 10 pound plus bass taken from there, California is growing bigger bass and people are catching them.
Just check with the water district before you plan a trip as some have restrictions and are closed at certain times. Charles E. White has fished for almost 50 years for bass from California to Florida. In his lifetime, it is estimated that he has caught over 6,000 bass. His biggest bass is a 12 pound 14 ounce that hangs on his wall in his office. Charles has fished with people who have never fished for bass before and taught them how to become successful anglers and also has fished with the Pros in Florida. His website about fishing for bass is at:
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Florida's record bass is 17.27 pounds, but others often cite an uncertified fish of 20.125 pounds (a fisheries biologist did not physically see the fish to certify it). Leaha Trew supposely caught a new world record largemouth in California. It weighed 22 pounds, 8 ounces, beating George Perry's 1932 record catch by 4 ounces. The problem is there was only one picture taken of it and it wasn't certified by a biologist or a California state fish and game offical. Where is the next world record coming from? Florida, Georgia, Mississippi or Texas? More than likely it will be from California. Gregg Silks has already caught 2 bass over twenty pounds and says he has lost a world record fish of 24 pounds. Who is to argue with him since he knows what 20 pound plus bass look like? 22 of 25 of the largest bass ever recorded has come from California. The next world record bass in my opinion, is going to be from the lakes of San Diego water system. Just look at the stats: Dixon: 21 pounds 11 ounce bass Jennings: 18 pounds plus Murray: 18 pounds plus Poway: 18 pound 2 ounce These are just a few of the lakes, all the lakes holds monster bass. Not only that, there are big bass all over California, Leaha Trew caught her bass in Sonoma County. While I am not taking anything away from Florida, as I have lived there and seen many 10 pound plus bass taken from there, California is growing bigger bass and people are catching them.
Just check with the water district before you plan a trip as some have restrictions and are closed at certain times. Charles E. White has fished for almost 50 years for bass from California to Florida. In his lifetime, it is estimated that he has caught over 6,000 bass. His biggest bass is a 12 pound 14 ounce that hangs on his wall in his office. Charles has fished with people who have never fished for bass before and taught them how to become successful anglers and also has fished with the Pros in Florida. His website about fishing for bass is at:
http://www.bassfishingweekly.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_White http://EzineArticles.com/?A-New-World-Record-Bass&id=16556 buy phentermine no prior prescription
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Friday, January 25, 2008
June 6, 2006 = 666 Are You Ready?
By Lance Winslow Everyone knows that 666 is the sign of the devil and a day which represents this number is approaching fast. Will the first hurricane of 2006 Atlantic tropical hurricane season named Albert do be the devil? Will there be a war with Iran on June 6th, 2006? The truth is nobody knows, but something will happen on 666 or June 6, 2006. Every day has news in it and every day both good and bad things happen, but what bad things will happen all on 666? Many parents are very worried in the deal even want to send their kids to school that day. Other very religious folks think that 666 is the beginning of the end. Could this be the end of days, Armageddon, the rapture or the day the devil is born? One hospital in Florida noted that many women are canceling the appointments to have their babies delivered. Several women who are expected to give birth exactly nine months after conception found out that the baby was due on June 6, 2006. You can imagine how freaked out these ladies were, as they do not want to be the mother of the Antichrist. I guess that makes sense really? A few mothers are asking to have labor induced born June 7th, 2007. Are you a Christian family who is worried about 666? Are you one of the millions of Americans who is worried for your lives on June 6, 2006? If you are; Booo! And "Lance Winslow" - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance in the Online Think Tank and solve the problems of the World; www.WorldThinkTank.net/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lance_Winslow http://EzineArticles.com/?June-6,-2006-=-666--Are-You-Ready?&id=212755 cheap-viagra
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
Fighting Fat, Part 2 Of Our Mini Series On Fat
By Andrew Gee The following article is one of a series of articles which focus on Self Improvement, Motivation and Empowerment. It is based on research done over twenty years as a personal and business coach. This self improvement article was written in response to questions which have been asked on losing weight and long term weight loss as well as address common challenges that people have with this subject. I sincerely hope that you find the following
information of value. Fighting Fat, Part 2 Of Our Mini Series On Fat Dealing with being overweight or obese and the consequences of these conditions are seriously problematic for many of us. Many people are overweight because of their own lifestyle choices. Others have ended up with a lot of extra weight through no fault of their own. These people have to face the prejudices of others on a daily basis. Living in a world that doesn't always take kindly to them whether it is public transport, fashions, shopping, being on vacation or whatever is not funny. This is the sad and shameful reality that some of us have to face and it can be seriously damaging to our well being. Self-image and self-esteem depend largely on how other people see us, think about us (or what we think they think about us), talk about us and it takes a huge ego or an awful lot of willpower not to care about the views and opinions of others. And the bigger you are the harder it gets. People staring wherever you go and having to listen to all sorts of bad jokes and insults is a surefire way of lowering your self-esteem and triggering a self-destructing pattern. Obese people prefer to stay in-doors and avoid moving about much, which leads to even more weight gained from lack of exercise, which leads to less exercise and so on. People whose self-esteem is low find it very hard to motivate themselves to improve their lives. ========SIDEBAR========
When it comes to the subject of self improvement, I fully understand (through my own experiences) that it is a lot easier said than done. However, you are here, right now, because you have a desire to improve your self or you are at least interested in this subject. Perhaps you are reading this to help a friend or colleague - great. If this article helps you or you help a friend, paying it forward is what lif'e all about so we all win.
======END SIDEBAR====== Therein lies the key. We may acknowledge the advice and good intentions of others but, ultimately, we and only we can really motivate ourselves to want to make a difference.
Achieving this, however, is no mean feat and if you have motivated yourself you should be deservedly proud of yourself. Relationships are hard to handle for overweight people. Sex becomes awkward, especially for a self-conscious person who doesn't enjoy being naked. The extra weight makes sustained effort quite hard to perform and heavy sweating is not sexy. Unfortunately, the shape of an overweight person is not sexy either and most overweight people are hard pressed to find sex partners who don't mind their shortcomings. The fact that overweight people don't go out much makes finding partners even harder, which is why many simply give up and reach out for more food and sweets to stave off depression. One of the best ways to deal with obesity is to help motivate yourself as mentioned. Outside support is crucial because obese people are especially prone to taking the easy way and eating more than they should. A little flexibility also counts. Food addiction is next door to drug addiction and less food means less glucose triggering endorphins in the brain. This, in turn, means that a person who used to feel quite content is suddenly faced not only with depression, but also with the perspective of a long term, even lifelong depression. That has to be devastating for anybody. Getting fat is easy, shedding all that extra weight is not. Fighting fat is a struggle every step of the way and one needs to be strong and also to have the emotional support of a loving circle of relatives and friends. Being able to rely on others to help you through the worst parts of a diet is almost half the battle. Especially since after the diet comes a lifetime of less food and more exercise. This may sound a bit scary to the average overweight person, but you must remember that looking into the mirror or walking down the street won't be a nightmare anymore. It will be an absolute joy. Finding sensible, safe and long term methods of weight loss and weight maintenance takes a lot of research which we have done and continue to do so that we can provide these informative and motivational articles to help you move forward and realize your personal goals and aspirations. NOW is the time! O.K. you have read the article. Now is the time for action. Without action, this article adds no value whatsoever to your self improvement. But remember, without action, you cannot blame this self improvement article or any article for that matter. So, take action NOW. Even if only one piece of advice, one piece of information, one tip makes a difference, then the whole article has been worth it for all of us. NOW is the time! Be the person you want to be, you deserve it! It is our aim to find sensible and long term methods of weight loss and weight maintenance. Weight Loss Research is dedicated to giving you, the consumer totally reliable and up to date information on various weight loss topics. Why struggle with losing weight when all the weightloss research has already been done for you? What do you really have to lose by paying us a visit? All that excess weight you want rid off. Read up on our Safe and Clinically Proven Methods of Weight Loss Today Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Gee http://EzineArticles.com/?Fighting-Fat,-Part-2-Of-Our-Mini-Series-On-Fat&id=504558 buy generic viagra online
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information of value. Fighting Fat, Part 2 Of Our Mini Series On Fat Dealing with being overweight or obese and the consequences of these conditions are seriously problematic for many of us. Many people are overweight because of their own lifestyle choices. Others have ended up with a lot of extra weight through no fault of their own. These people have to face the prejudices of others on a daily basis. Living in a world that doesn't always take kindly to them whether it is public transport, fashions, shopping, being on vacation or whatever is not funny. This is the sad and shameful reality that some of us have to face and it can be seriously damaging to our well being. Self-image and self-esteem depend largely on how other people see us, think about us (or what we think they think about us), talk about us and it takes a huge ego or an awful lot of willpower not to care about the views and opinions of others. And the bigger you are the harder it gets. People staring wherever you go and having to listen to all sorts of bad jokes and insults is a surefire way of lowering your self-esteem and triggering a self-destructing pattern. Obese people prefer to stay in-doors and avoid moving about much, which leads to even more weight gained from lack of exercise, which leads to less exercise and so on. People whose self-esteem is low find it very hard to motivate themselves to improve their lives. ========SIDEBAR========
When it comes to the subject of self improvement, I fully understand (through my own experiences) that it is a lot easier said than done. However, you are here, right now, because you have a desire to improve your self or you are at least interested in this subject. Perhaps you are reading this to help a friend or colleague - great. If this article helps you or you help a friend, paying it forward is what lif'e all about so we all win.
======END SIDEBAR====== Therein lies the key. We may acknowledge the advice and good intentions of others but, ultimately, we and only we can really motivate ourselves to want to make a difference.
Achieving this, however, is no mean feat and if you have motivated yourself you should be deservedly proud of yourself. Relationships are hard to handle for overweight people. Sex becomes awkward, especially for a self-conscious person who doesn't enjoy being naked. The extra weight makes sustained effort quite hard to perform and heavy sweating is not sexy. Unfortunately, the shape of an overweight person is not sexy either and most overweight people are hard pressed to find sex partners who don't mind their shortcomings. The fact that overweight people don't go out much makes finding partners even harder, which is why many simply give up and reach out for more food and sweets to stave off depression. One of the best ways to deal with obesity is to help motivate yourself as mentioned. Outside support is crucial because obese people are especially prone to taking the easy way and eating more than they should. A little flexibility also counts. Food addiction is next door to drug addiction and less food means less glucose triggering endorphins in the brain. This, in turn, means that a person who used to feel quite content is suddenly faced not only with depression, but also with the perspective of a long term, even lifelong depression. That has to be devastating for anybody. Getting fat is easy, shedding all that extra weight is not. Fighting fat is a struggle every step of the way and one needs to be strong and also to have the emotional support of a loving circle of relatives and friends. Being able to rely on others to help you through the worst parts of a diet is almost half the battle. Especially since after the diet comes a lifetime of less food and more exercise. This may sound a bit scary to the average overweight person, but you must remember that looking into the mirror or walking down the street won't be a nightmare anymore. It will be an absolute joy. Finding sensible, safe and long term methods of weight loss and weight maintenance takes a lot of research which we have done and continue to do so that we can provide these informative and motivational articles to help you move forward and realize your personal goals and aspirations. NOW is the time! O.K. you have read the article. Now is the time for action. Without action, this article adds no value whatsoever to your self improvement. But remember, without action, you cannot blame this self improvement article or any article for that matter. So, take action NOW. Even if only one piece of advice, one piece of information, one tip makes a difference, then the whole article has been worth it for all of us. NOW is the time! Be the person you want to be, you deserve it! It is our aim to find sensible and long term methods of weight loss and weight maintenance. Weight Loss Research is dedicated to giving you, the consumer totally reliable and up to date information on various weight loss topics. Why struggle with losing weight when all the weightloss research has already been done for you? What do you really have to lose by paying us a visit? All that excess weight you want rid off. Read up on our Safe and Clinically Proven Methods of Weight Loss Today Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Gee http://EzineArticles.com/?Fighting-Fat,-Part-2-Of-Our-Mini-Series-On-Fat&id=504558 buy generic viagra online
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
How to Make Money from Your Handcrafted Jewelry
By Lee Dobbins So several years after you started taking on a handcrafted jewelry hobby, you are probably now an expert in the craft. Perhaps your drawers and cabinets are overfilled with necklaces, earrings, bracelets and other trinkets. Maybe you have already run out of friends and relatives to give these things away. Now is the time for you to make money from your handcrafted jewelry by selling them. For many hobbyists, taking the next step of making a pastime into a means of earning is an exciting phase. However, there are also many of those who could still be quite hesitant take their handcrafted jewelry hobby making to the next level because of many uncertainties that may come along the way. If such is the case for you, read on and discover how you could make your hobby not only pleasurable but lucrative as well. Where to Sell Your Handcrafted Jewelry For many people, selling would mean putting up a store or a boutique, but this should not always be the case for beginners. Building a shop can be intimidating, and not to mention risky, especially during the early stages. The best thing to do is to test the waters (i.e. the market) first before taking the plunge into a full-pledged handcrafted jewelry business. Here are some great venues where you can start up. 1. Handcrafted Jewelry Parties at Home - this is where many successful handcrafted jewelers start out. They invite their friends for some snack or dinner one afternoon or evening. As desert is serve, and small talk begins, you can show your guests your latest creations. Let them take a look and feel of your products. Have mirrors handy and allow guests to try your jewels out for size. This relaxed and friendly environment could be a great venue not only to take pride of your handiwork but also to sell them to people who are close to you. 2. Handicraft Fairs - after hosting some parties, you may now try to venture into the outside world, and a great place to do this is in handicraft fairs, where people of the same interest gather to look and shop for interesting finds. Fairs provide great settings novice jewelers as they provide good learning experiences such as the latest trends in the business. This is also where you could meet with potential contacts for your future handcrafted jewelry ventures. 3. Online Jewelry Shops - you may also take advantage of the convenience afforded by technology by selling your products online. The great thing about online shops is you could reach a wide market without having to leave your house. You may join an online shops that specialize on accessories or you may also sell you goods in online auction sites. For a minimal cost you could enter a vast ocean of potential customers. eBay is now a phenomenally popular site that sells everything from pets to computers, and you could greatly take advantage of his wonderful channel. You may also put up your own website so that people would associate your products directly to you. Publishing and maintaining websites these days are no longer costly and considering how much you would earn with your handcrafted jewelry business, this could be a venture worth taking. For How Much You Can Sell Your Handcrafted Jewelry This is another area of handcrafted jewelry business that perplexes a lot of people, however it is actually very simple. You just have to take not of the costs of your materials, how much work you have placed on the crafts, and the overhead. To do this you need three steps: 1. List the cost all the materials and tools you used for making the jewelry. 2. Carefully think how much time and effort you gave to make your goods and decide how much you are willing to pay yourself. Perhaps in the beginning it is reasonable to pay yourself $10 or so for every hour you worked. You can increase this as your business grows. 3. Finally, take not of all the other expenses that is related to your jewelry making. This could include the rent of the stall in the trade fair you joined, or the website maintenance expenses, or the telephone charges you got from calling contacts. Usually, these miscellaneous expenses can be estimated by taking 25% of the your material and labor costs. With these in mind you would know how much your goods are worth, so that you would neither overprice nor under-price. Making money out of your handcrafted jewelry is not as difficult as it seems. With determination and hard work you could be earning from your hobby in no time. Lee Dobbins, an avid jewelry collector, designer and dealer, hosts http://www.jewelerati.com where you can learn about all kinds of jewelry from vintage, to modern to unique handcrafted jewelry. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lee_Dobbins http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Make-Money-from-Your-Handcrafted-Jewelry&id=305772 viagra on line pharmacy
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Your Reputation - Take It Seriously
By Mary Eule Your reputation, strengthened or negated by word-of-mouth, is one of the most difficult things to build and one of the easiest to destroy. You must be committed to developing and protecting your good name at all costs it is one of your most precious assets. How do you develop and preserve an exemplary reputation? First, you must believe that honesty, credibility and consistency are right both personally and professionally. Second, you must consistently deliver what you promise no exceptions. And finally, you must build and maintain positive relationships, and treat everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of the situation. Heres a personal example. When I help found my own small, competitive long-distance company I developed a policy on treating customers with specific guidelines and scripts for dealing with difficult ones. Sometimes our service consultants were in the unenviable position of having to terminate a customers service for nonpayment. As you might expect, this often resulted in a frustrated, angry or regretful call into our service center. We could have used the opportunity to chastised and pressure these folks many companies do. However, no matter what the outcome of the call, we made sure that every person was treated with kindness and respect. Our representatives made every attempt to help these customers often taking great leaps of faith. In other words, we continued to serve when others would not have. This one policy resulted in more positive testimonials than our other, more formalized, programs. Youd be amazed at how many of these folks ended up becoming some of our best, and most loyal, customers. During those years I felt tense before answering strangers fated question, So, Mary, what do you do for a living? I was braced for anything from a blank stare to a tirade of complaints. Yet, not one of my current, or former, customers ever complained about how they were treated by any employee of the company even though they may have had other concerns (for example billing errors, service outages). I was also grateful to learn that many defectors eagerly recommended our company to others. As a person far wiser than me said, A reputation once broken may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was.
(Joseph Hall) Mary Eule specializes in helping small and medium-sized businesses get and keep profitable customers. Formerly a Fortune 500 marketing executive; founder of two successful small businesses and award-winning speaker, Ms. Eule is President of Strategic Marketing Advisors, LLC. and co-author of a new book, "Mandatory Marketing: Small Business Edition". She holds a master degree in marketing from Johns Hopkins University. Log onto http://www.StrategicMarketingAdvisors.com for free articles, newsletter and helpful tools, tips and templates. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Eule http://EzineArticles.com/?Your-Reputation---Take-It-Seriously&id=83895 where can i buy cheap xanax
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(Joseph Hall) Mary Eule specializes in helping small and medium-sized businesses get and keep profitable customers. Formerly a Fortune 500 marketing executive; founder of two successful small businesses and award-winning speaker, Ms. Eule is President of Strategic Marketing Advisors, LLC. and co-author of a new book, "Mandatory Marketing: Small Business Edition". She holds a master degree in marketing from Johns Hopkins University. Log onto http://www.StrategicMarketingAdvisors.com for free articles, newsletter and helpful tools, tips and templates. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Eule http://EzineArticles.com/?Your-Reputation---Take-It-Seriously&id=83895 where can i buy cheap xanax
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Monday, January 21, 2008
The Light that Shines in Darkness
By Linda Leon I was sitting in a parking lot the other day and noticed that a street light was on. It was a bright and beautiful day and I thought to myself, why is that light on? They really need to turn that light off. For some reason it agitated me. Maybe I thought it was a waste of power, or that it really served no purpose being on in the day time. A light is really needed for the night. It needs to illuminate a space so that you can see your way through. Then I began to think about friendships. It is a lot like that light. A true friend is one that will shine for you at the right time, and often those are the darkest times of your life. A fair weather friend will shine, but often not at the right time. When your life is darkest they just might not be there for you. Those are the type friends that call when they need something, but when youre in need, well. Maybe its best to turn the light off in those types of relationships. You will probably save yourself a lot of disappointment when a time of need comes and they are not around. King David said this about one of his relationships, it wasnt he that hated me that did magnify himself against me, it was you, my friend. Jesus was betrayed with a kiss by a friend. Their light did not shine in the darkness. Some of you reading this article are struggling with whether to hold on to a relationship or let it go. I would encourage you to simply check out when the light is shining. Is it on when it needs to be? Solid friendships are forged in the fire. Solid friendships are not afraid of dark times. Solid friendships want nothing more than to see the other person better off, not looking for what they can get out of the relationship. A true friend will indeed stick closer than a brother. I have three friends that have done just that. My relationship with Angie, Lacey, and Marie spans over thirty years. They have always turned their lights on at the right time. Weve gone through laughter, tears, good times, hardships, deaths, and some of the most adverse adversities. Their loyalty holds and gets stronger with time. People need good friends. They are precious and rare. If you are fortunate to have a good friend keep and nurture the relationship. But if you find that you have fair weather friends, dont be afraid to turn the light off. Linda Leon is a person that loves God, enjoys inspiring people and has done a gazillion things like write books, produce TV programs, and get ordained. Feel free to contact her blog at http://lifeis2good.wordpress.com/. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Linda_Leon http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Light-that-Shines-in-Darkness&id=455550 xanax online overnight delivery
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
Popcorn Machines
By Elizabeth Morgan Popcorn is a type of flint corn. Kernels of these corns have hard outer shells and are starchy inside. Dry roasting these kernels in a specific way makes them pop up. Kernels are normally dried to a moisture level of approximately 13.5 %, which is most favorable moisture content for popping these corns up to 99%. Popcorn is obtained by popping up these kernels and is a familiar snack to most of the people. With demand for popcorn being so high, many types of machines are available, and they make popping corn very simple. People can purchase models to use at home or for commercial purposes. A popcorn machine contains a heating device that pops up corn. Each popcorn kernel contains a little amount of water inside a circle of starch, which is encircled by the hard outer surface of the kernel. On heating, this water usually expands and with corresponding pressure building against the starch, it then pushes through the hard surface, making the popcorn burst open. With this, the soft starch inside the kernel inflates and bursts turning the core inside out and the popcorn is popped out. Popcorn machines can be of various types and sizes. There is a large selection of popcorn machines for home use. They are comparatively smaller and simple to use. There are some popcorn machines that come with carts and are specially designed for mobile vendors or stationery ones to be used in shopping malls. It is wise to look for poppers, which have gone under scientific lab testing before making a choice. Certified popcorn machines are proven to pop popcorns up to 99% and also produce maximum volume of popcorn with minimal waste. It is also important to choose the right kind of popcorn machine if children are going to operate the popper. It is always advisable to look out for simple to follow directions and also choose a machine that is not too heavy for children to handle. Nearly all popcorn machine poppers are design to cook a kettle of kernels in about three and a half minutes. Time is usually counted from when the kettle is heated close to cooking temperature before loading the kettle. Popcorn provides detailed information on Popcorn, Popped Popcorn, Popcorn Machines, Popcorn Factories and more. Popcorn is affiliated with How Many Carbs In Pizza. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elizabeth_Morgan http://EzineArticles.com/?Popcorn-Machines&id=277640 buy xanax 2mg
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Saturday, January 19, 2008
Flower Gardens
By Jimmy Sturo One such specialized type of garden is one that is devoted to the cultivation of flowers. Flower gardens are popular due to their aesthetic appeal. Located on large tracts of land they make commercial sense, as flowers have a worldwide market. Size is not a restricting factor for the beauty of a flower garden. Creativity and a love for plants and flowers can transform a small plot into a rare treat for the eyes. Human creativity in this field can be seen in the form of a rock garden, a bonsai garden, a tropical garden, a Chinese garden, a Zen garden, a cottage garden, a Japanese garden or a water garden. Whatever their type, these gardens add a lot of beauty to their surroundings. Large flower gardens are huge crowd pullers. Tourists from far off places throng to see natures bounty nurtured. As increased tourist activity brings in good revenues state administrations take a lot of care in maintaining their gardens. Planned events like flower shows bring out the best gardening talents in the neighborhood and encourage people to take up gardening. Maintaining a garden that celebrates all the colors of nature does need some expertise. From planting the seeds that bring forth flowering plants to all that goes into maintaining them, each step has been studied extensively in several universities. A lot of information is available for anyone who is interested on all gardening topics such as seeds, organic manure and pesticides, the right kind of soil and advice as to the suitability of a particular place for particular plants, and so forth. There is, however, no replacement for wisdom that an experienced gardener can offer. It would be wise to approach an avid gardener for tips that no manual or book on gardening would have. Gardens provides detailed information on Gardens, Flower Gardens, Garden Dcor, Garden Furniture and more. Gardens is affiliated with Flower Gardening. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jimmy_Sturo http://EzineArticles.com/?Flower-Gardens&id=268534 online prescription for valium
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Dare To Achieve Your Goal with Student Debt Consolidation Loans
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Alex_Jonnes]Alex Jonnes Are you a student with big dreams to conquer your ambitions? But too many financial responsibilities are posing as a blocking stone in your path? Dont let these responsibilities ruin your dream. Dare to achieve your aspirations with the help of student debt consolidation loans Student debt consolidation loans can enable you to merge your multiple debts under one debt. Consolidation of debts also makes it easier for you to do away with the burden of debts. Student debt consolidation loans can reduce the size of your loan repayments, fetch you lower interest rate on the existing loan amount. Besides these advantages it can help you to stay away from dealing with copious creditors. As consolidation of debts would mean that you will be bound with one creditor. Education is what makes you stand apart from others. Student debt consolidation loans can facilitate you to bridge the gap between your tuition fees and other expenses with ease. As all you need to worry about is a single monthly repayment instead of diverse repayment amounts. In fact, it can evade the chances of missed payments. The most common categories of student debt consolidation loans are: Federal student debt consolidation loans
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Fall Activity Ideas for Kids Using Autumn Leaves
By Nancy Johnson The changing of the season from summer into autumn is right around the corner. How about several fall activity ideas using autumn leaves? Leaves turning colors such as red, orange and yellow seem magical to children. Take this opportunity to share with kids the science of why leaves change colors. In the fall the weather turns cooler and there is less light from the sun, the chlorophyll (green pigment) begins to fade so the true colors of the leaves appear. Also a special chemical that connects the leaf to the twig breaks down and the leaf stops processing food. Thus, the leaves become dead and fall! Have kids gather a variety of different sizes and colors of leaves to use in fall activities. Press the leaves by spreading the leaves in a single layer between newspaper and stacking heavy books on top of the paper. Let the leaves press for several weeks before using in one of the fall activity ideas listed below. One activity is to make a tree and leaf identification book. The book Crinkleroots Guide to Knowing the Trees by Jim Arnosky is a wonderful resource for identifying trees by their leaves. Using plain paper kids can glue one leaf to each page and write down what type of tree the leaf comes from. Tie the book with orange, red or yellow yarn. Another fall activity is to make fall pictures by placing several colors of leaves between two pieces of wax paper, and seal with a hot iron. Adult supervision is recommended when kids use the hot iron. Make a frame with black construction paper and glue the fall picture in the frame. Make two holes on the top of the frame with a punch and hang with a fall ribbon. To avoid having to use a hot iron, use a spray adhesive to attach the leaves on the wax paper. Hang the fall pictures in a window. Instead of fall pictures, use smaller leaves and make bookmarks. Iron or glue a variety of small leaves in different colors between the wax paper. Cut the wax paper leaves into 2 x 6 rectangles. Punch a hole in the center of a small end and tie a fall ribbon or raffia through the hole. This fall activity idea can be used at a family gathering such as Thanksgiving. Make autumn placecards with medium or large leaves. Spray leaves with a clear varnish and let them dry on a disposable tray. Paint the tips of the leaves gold and dry. Write the guests names on each leaf with a permanent black marker. Tie the placecard with curling ribbon around a napkin or the utensils. As a mother, grandmother, and child development professional, Nancy Johnson, shares over 20 years experience working with children and planning activities on her website, Creative-Child-Activity-Notebook.com. Check it out for more school age child activity ideas including party, outdoor, fall, nature, and child holiday activity ideas. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nancy_Johnson http://EzineArticles.com/?Fall-Activity-Ideas-for-Kids-Using-Autumn-Leaves&id=291302 online prescription for valium
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Monday, January 14, 2008
Find the Right New Year's Resolution to Get into Your Best Shape Ever!
By Diana Keuilian Yep, it is that time of year again! Time to moan and groan about the weight we gained over the holidays as we resolve to lose it all in the New Year! If memories of failed New Years resolutions are haunting you, it is time you found the right resolution for 2005. The reason that most New Years Resolutions fail is that they are too extreme or time consuming. Who is really going to give up all sweets or stick to sweating in the gym for hours each day? What you need this year is a New Years Resolution that is simple enough to become a part of your daily life, and will lead to long term weight loss. Read on for five simple yet effective New Years Resolutions for you to choose from. Resolution #1: Drink a large glass of water before each meal. This simple action will save you mountains of calories in the coming year! By filling your stomach with water right before you eat you reduce your chances of overeating during the meal. Drinking more water is also healthy for all of your body functions, including converting body fat into usable energy. Resolution #2: Wait 20 minutes before deciding on seconds. Do you remember the last time you were uncomfortably full after a meal? Chances are that you were hungry and, rather than stopping when you were satisfied, you overate. In the same way that your body tells you when you are hungry, it also has a way of telling you when you are full. The catch is that it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to get the message from your stomach that you have eaten enough. What you eat during that 20 minutes is extra food that your body doesnt need. Next time that you are in the middle of a meal contemplating getting yourself seconds, allow 20 minutes to pass before you decided if you still need the extra food. Chances are that your brain will get the full message and you will pass on the extra calories! Resolution #3: Walk or Jog in the morning. Did you know that going on a 15 minutes walk right after waking contributes to weight loss? Getting out of bed 15 minutes earlier, lacing up your tennis shoes, and simply walking around the block will lead to fat burn and lost pounds! When you get up and move first thing in the morning, before breakfast, your body is more likely to used stored fat as energy. Weight loss is supposed to be harder than this, right? Resolution #4: Obey the No Food Three Hours Before Bed Rule. Eating a snack after dinner is a widely held habit. Although food always seems to taste better right before bed, it is also more prone to stick with you when eaten late at night. It has been proven that not eating three hours before bed reduces fat storage throughout the night. If you go to bed at 10pm, finish eating for the day no later than 7pm. Once you have made this a habit you will be ecstatic over the long-term weight loss! Resolution #5: Spice up you Workouts with Circuit Training Are your workouts consisting of the same exercises in the same order at the same weight? If you find yourself falling into a rut at the gym give circuit training a try. Start by doing one set of your first exercise and then moving on to do one set of your second exercise. After you have done every exercise once, start again from the top! If you want to burn extra calories add 5 minutes on a bike between each set. Get creative and add new exercises into your circuits, and your workouts will be fun and energizing! Now all you have to do is pick one of these New Years Resolutions, make it a part of your daily life, and watch as the pounds fall off in 2005! Diana Keuilian, author, ACE certified Personal Trainer, and co-founder of HitechTrainer.com offers online personal training and nutrition programs that fit your budget and schedule. Whether your goal is to lose weight, firm and tone, or to build muscle, HitechTrainer.com will build a custom designed program just for you.
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Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Key To My Success In Losing Weight (82 lbs. / 37 kg. lost in 6 months)
By Heidrun Bergdottir During the time I have been loosing weight, I have wondered how do I do it? How am I able to stick with the portions of food I am supposed to eat? Why am I able to avoid eating sweets now? Why have I gained such control over my appetite and cravings for foods? How am I able to persist in every aspect of the diet? Why can I achieve this now, when I couldnt gain any control of my diet before? I think the reasons are many, and some arent very obvious but have had a major affect on my success. I think that the least of it are physical factors, and I am certain that most of it lies in my mind. My experience tells me that weight loss is not solely a physical thing. To be able to achieve goal weight and keep it has much more to do with the mentality and values towards food that you have or evolve during the weight loss process. The thing that was crucial for me in the beginning of my emotional success in life, is that I acknowledged that it was my responsibility to do something about the things that were negative in my life. Before I started the weight loss process I had fought many demons, especially the addictions I had evolved towards many things. I had mental problems that I also won over so the weight was/is the only major thing left in my life make-over. The reason for my very serious obesity (400+ lbs / 183 kg, - I am 55 / 165 cm) was that very early in life, in my childhood, I had evolved addiction to food and in fact that addiction got to be very similar to my later-in-life substance abuse. Whenever I felt bad or depressed I used to eat and eat and eat, that caused me to gain more weight that made me feel worse and depressed and so on and so forth. I simply got stuck in a habit, a vicious circle I couldnt get out of, even when I started to feel better emotionally, my out of control food habits continued, making me gaining all that excess weight. Finally I got fed up with this situation. I was so overweight that people close to me feared for my life. In fact I think I was only 25-50 lbs from getting to the point where I couldnt live a normal life. I was sick and tired of my eating habits, I even didnt like the junk-food anymore but I kept stuffing it in my mouth. Luckily I met the right people at the right time saying all the right things, so I got into a food-program that I have been on ever since (I have lost 82 lbs / 37 kg in 6 months). What I realized very early on in my weight loss process was that I had to change my attitude to food. I had to train my mind to like the healthy food. I had to stop linking sweets and junk food to emotions. I think many of you recognize this; you see f. ex. a chocolate bar and automatically you think "Wow, if I eat that chocolate, it will make me feel so good, the taste of chocolate will make me feel nice all over". When you think like that, you are linking happy emotions to a chocolate, so in fact you are training your mind to crave chocolate, because it links happiness to the experience of eating chocolate. The fact is: Food is food, taste is taste and food really doesnt have small molecules of "happy-atoms" lodged in it, it is all in your mind. And believe it or not, you are able to control your own mind and feelings! What I started to do to stop this pattern of thought towards junk food was to be grateful for every piece of healthy food that I ate. I simply repeated to myself every time I ate my meals "mmm, I am so lucky to be able to eat this great tasting food, it makes me feel so much better, it makes me loose weight, it makes me reach all my goals, it makes me feel so good about myself, it gives me self confidence etc.". Then every time I had cravings for sweets and junk food, I started a thought process where I debated with myself why it would hurt me to give in for the craving. An example of this thinking could be something like this: Is it really worth it to throw away everything I have worked for, to lose the belief in myself, to feel out of control, guilty, a loser, failure, just to have the taste of ice cream in my mouth for few minutes? Is the taste of ice cream more important then my success in life? Is the taste of ice cream more important then my health? Is the taste of ice cream more important then feeling good in my own skin? Is the taste of ice cream worth having people stare at my fat ass every time I go out in public? Is the taste of ice cream in my mouth for a few minutes worth having people point at me and making fun of me? Is the taste of ice cream more important then gaining confidence and gratification with every pound I lose? Is the taste of ice cream good enough to risk my own health and ultimately my own life? Wouldnt it be better to have a piece of fruit instead, they taste just as great and they dont ruin my life either. After some time this mentality had become automatic and it really worked! Now I love my healthy food, and believe or not, sweets, cakes and junk food dont move me a bit any more. I can look over a whole table filled with sweets and cakes and the feeling it gives me is similar to look at a flower decoration, it simply doesnt move me at all, because I have cut off the emotion connection. Before that kind of food would have screamed at me from the table "eat me, eat me" but no more, because it all lies in my mind. Now it is just food that I dont eat, I know how it tastes but I have no craving to eat it, because taste is taste, food is food, no more no less. I simply dont feel its worth it to eat this food. To ruin my success, my goals and happiness just to taste some certain flavor. I would rather taste the healthy food and keep on feeling so darn good. I have heard criticism towards this method of mine. That food, such as chocolate, really made us feel good through chemicals it triggered in the brain and therefore this method wouldnt work. I know that food can have an effect on our body, that they can release chemicals that make us feel good. But if that was the whole issue why arent everyone overweight? Why doesnt everybody have a food addiction? The answer is that when you are addicted to food then you are in the same situation as a drunk. You have linked your food to a range of emotions and gratifications; you subconsciously think that certain food will make you happy, even when it is in fact making you fall into a misery. Your emotions that you link with certain food when you eat it to feel emotionally better, condition you to feel that by eating this certain food is the same as feeling good. As the drunk you just cant have one bite of that candy, you have to have the whole box and some more, because your craving is to feel better. As certain food, alcohol has huge effect on the chemicals in the brain, but not everyone becomes addicted to it, the same way as some people can handle eating in moderation, and never have any problem with their weight, probably because they havent been eating (or drinking in that matter) to feel emotionally better. To fight against all my addictions I have used this method and have found it extremely helpful, and in fact I think it is the essence of my success. When I had cut out the links that alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and food had to my own emotions, it got so much easier to control them. It is a fact that it is so much easier to deal with facts then your own emotions. Your emotions can make you do so many stupid things because it is so hard to ignore them. They are the essence of your soul and heart, so we all tend to fall for their reasonings, even when it means the loss of everything we have achieved. When you set your emotions aside, then the only thing left is reasoning, and it isnt hard at all, when the consequences are obviously misery and failure, to deny yourself of that ice cream cone, or whatever food you deny yourself from having. My blog/journal in English: http://www.123.is/weightloss
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Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Acupuncture and IVF - The Secret of Success
By Brian Winkels A number of reasons have been shown how acupuncture influences the results of in-vitro fertilization or IVF. Acupuncture has been shown to positively affect the levels of ovarian and pituitary hormones while electro-acupuncture treatment have shown to result in better and improved flow of blood in the uterine arteries of women who are infertile. In conjunction with modern IVF therapy acupuncture, as a complementary therapy, is becoming more and more common. Studies has shown that acupuncture helps patients' better respond to medication as well as improving pregnancy rates and resulting in healthier eggs. Many women who have had problems with high FSH levels or who have had a miscarriage are being advised that acupuncture is the solution to their problems. Higher Rates of Pregnancy
Couples having difficulties in conceiving through traditional methods often turn to other techniques to assist them in having a child and one of the most used reproduction therapies currently being used is in-vitro fertilization. IVF is the process harvesting a woman's eggs and then fertilizing them with sperm via a laboratory. Some studies have shown that pregnancy rates increase by as much as 40 percent for women undergoing acupuncture treatment in addition to IVF. Acupuncture makes a woman's uterus more receptive to implantation which is one of the major reasons attributed to these higher rates of success. On a side note, for those women who do decide to combine acupuncture with their IVF it appears that's it's best to undergo their acupuncture treatment on the afternoon before the transfer of their embryos, as well as on the afternoon or day after the transfer. Many women find IVF to be a stressful and anxiety ridden experience. These factors often result in undermining the success of IVF. However, on a positive note, a 2002 German study indicated that 34 out of 80 women who were undergoing IVF and who were also receiving acupuncture got pregnant - a success rate of 42.5 percent. To the uninformed this may not sound all that great but when compared to women undergoing IVF as a stand-alone treatment (no acupuncture) the pregnancy rate for those using acupuncture was significantly higher. Tip - For more information on Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, click on the first link below. Visit chinese herbs or chinese medicine candida or chinese herbal medicine for more information on acupuncture and Chinese medicine. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Winkels http://EzineArticles.com/?Acupuncture-and-IVF---The-Secret-of-Success&id=444794 buy xanax valium zolpidem ambien
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Couples having difficulties in conceiving through traditional methods often turn to other techniques to assist them in having a child and one of the most used reproduction therapies currently being used is in-vitro fertilization. IVF is the process harvesting a woman's eggs and then fertilizing them with sperm via a laboratory. Some studies have shown that pregnancy rates increase by as much as 40 percent for women undergoing acupuncture treatment in addition to IVF. Acupuncture makes a woman's uterus more receptive to implantation which is one of the major reasons attributed to these higher rates of success. On a side note, for those women who do decide to combine acupuncture with their IVF it appears that's it's best to undergo their acupuncture treatment on the afternoon before the transfer of their embryos, as well as on the afternoon or day after the transfer. Many women find IVF to be a stressful and anxiety ridden experience. These factors often result in undermining the success of IVF. However, on a positive note, a 2002 German study indicated that 34 out of 80 women who were undergoing IVF and who were also receiving acupuncture got pregnant - a success rate of 42.5 percent. To the uninformed this may not sound all that great but when compared to women undergoing IVF as a stand-alone treatment (no acupuncture) the pregnancy rate for those using acupuncture was significantly higher. Tip - For more information on Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, click on the first link below. Visit chinese herbs or chinese medicine candida or chinese herbal medicine for more information on acupuncture and Chinese medicine. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Winkels http://EzineArticles.com/?Acupuncture-and-IVF---The-Secret-of-Success&id=444794 buy xanax valium zolpidem ambien
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Tuesday, January 8, 2008
10 Steps to Making 2005 Safer For Your Child
By Carl Ellis 1. Listen to your child/children. Pay attention to what they are telling you or trying to tell you. Far too often parents are too busy or distracted to listen to what their children are trying to tell them. Don't make this critical mistake!!! 2. Teach your child what her phone number and address are. This is crucial for basic child safety. 3. Make time for your kids. If you share your time with your children, you will create the trust it may take for them to open up to you and share something that might be bothering them. 4. Trust your instincts. Nothing is as powerful as a parental instinct. If you have a suspicion, err on the side of safety and trust your instinct. 5. Teach children about boundaries. It can be somewhat uncomfortable, but teaching a child about what is appropriate and inappropriate play, touching, etc., can be the difference between an empowered child who can ask for help and a child who is far too trusting. This trusting nature of an innocent child could lead to him/her becoming a victim of a child predator, for example. To learn if there are convicted molesters living near you, get a FREE ZIP CODE SEARCH 6. Make rules about safety and enforce them! For example, if a child knows that he may not play outside of his yard without asking for permission, you are helping yourself and your child. Firstly, you are sending a message to your child that you care about her safety and surroundings while at the same time, you are helping yourself to quickly identify a "suspicious situation" if the agreed upon boundaries are not in place. 7. Get to know your children's friends and their parents. This is especially important if your child is going to be spending time at another child's house. There is nothing strange about setting up a time for you, as parents, to meet and discuss any expectations you might have regarding the visit, i.e. that a parent will be in the home with the children at all times. You might also consider - and I recommend - getting "The Child Abuse Prevention Letter" 8. Tell your children that you love them. Explain that there is nothing that he or she could do or tell you that would make you stop loving them. This allows children the freedom to tell you anything that has happened to them that they may be embarrassed or ashamed of. Predators know that they can trick a child into believing that she or he is at fault for being molested. Sadly, very often this trickery works and children blame themselves completely for what is happening to them. 9. Keep several current color pictures of your child on hand if an emergency situation arises. Usually a picture from the shoulders up works best. Complete the Child ID Form and keep it in a safe place. 10. For more information on this and other tips, strategies and guides to keeping yourself, your family, and your property safe, Click Here Now. Please note: These tips are provided as recommendations to help protect our nation's children. The Guardian Company and/or its Associates makes no guarantee that these tips will insure your child's safety. Carl Ellis is the owner of The Guardian Company: http://www.theguardiancompany.com Ellis is also freelance publisher and software developer. His products include Family Safety eBooks, childrens educational software, and more - If it involves family, then hes involved!
Visit his site today! DISCLAIMER: Any representation, statement, opinion or advise expressed or implied in this publication is made in good faith and on the basis that The Guardian Company, its agents, employees, associates are not liable - whether by reason of negligence, lack of care, or otherwise - to any person for damage or loss whatsoever, which has occurred or may occur in relation to that person taking or not taking - as the case may be - action in respect of any representation, statement, or advise referred to herein. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carl_Ellis http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Steps-to-Making-2005-Safer-For-Your-Child&id=9349 xanax online
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Visit his site today! DISCLAIMER: Any representation, statement, opinion or advise expressed or implied in this publication is made in good faith and on the basis that The Guardian Company, its agents, employees, associates are not liable - whether by reason of negligence, lack of care, or otherwise - to any person for damage or loss whatsoever, which has occurred or may occur in relation to that person taking or not taking - as the case may be - action in respect of any representation, statement, or advise referred to herein. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carl_Ellis http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Steps-to-Making-2005-Safer-For-Your-Child&id=9349 xanax online
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Monday, January 7, 2008
Cell Phone Reviews - Reaping the Benefits Of Online Wireless Reviews
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Samantha_Goode]Samantha Goode There are a lot of benefits that are offered by the major cell phone carriers today that many people dont take advantage of simply because theyre unaware of them. Among these is the opportunity to write online cell phone reviews, with the promise of some type of compensation, such as a free phone or specific accessory. While it may seem that these carriers are taking a financial loss in order to provide free equipment, its actually a rather clever way to sell their service plans. Once the participants have received their free prize, theyre then faced with having to acquire the necessary service plan in order to use the phone. Cell phone carriers such as Cingular wireless, Motorola wireless, Samsung, T-Mobile wireless, Nokia, Verizon wireless, Sony Ericcson, Siemens, Sprint, AT&T and Nextel often utilize such a program in order to draw more consumers into their customer base using this common carrot-on-a-stick marketing tactic. For those who were looking for a new cell phone, anyway, this is an extra perk that saves them the trouble of scoping out their own cell phone deal. On the positive side, those who participate in online cell phone reviews have the advantage of reading reviews that have been written by others, and can compare specific carriers and their service plans, as well as the phones that are being introduced by the various write-ups. Since research is a critical element in the process of determining the best type of cell phone service that youll need, these reviews can save a vast amount of time and offer a wealth of information that you might, otherwise, have had to spend hours or days unearthing. Online Cell Phone Review Websites
www.epinions.com Opportunities to both read and write cell phone reviews are available on this website, in addition to similar surveys that can be inspected or taken by eligible participants. A form is provided in order to write a review, and a specific number of characters is given in order to accomplish the task. By writing a brief, concise report, your comments will be added to the database, and a star value will be assigned to the particular cell phone carrier that youve reviewed. www.mpedia.com This site is actually a public forum that allows you to read and write cell phone reviews once youve joined the group. Theres no fee attached, but you must choose a login name and password in order to become a member of the community and enjoy the benefits that it has to offer. Of the many chat rooms that are contained within this particular forum, the one for cell phone reviews is clearly marked, so its quite user friendly. www.cellphone-reviews.net Although there may be a bit more navigating to do in order to write and submit a review on this site, the pathway is clearly marked, and you can choose to write your assessment of a particular phone by simply clicking on the header for the specific model. This site offers the extra perk of providing clearly written instructions on how to write a review, in case you have any questions before you begin. Once you access their web address, simply click on the Cell Phone Reviews tab, then click on the particular model of phone that youd like to review and click on the Write an Online Review link in the middle of the page. Youll be able to post your own comments, in addition to reading those which have already been submitted by others. www.discusswireless.com This, too, is set up as a public forum, but the difference is that each chat room offers reviews for a specific brand of cell phone. By choosing a user name and password, you can click into any of the rooms and read or write reviews for any of the models that are intrinsic to that brand of cell phone. Theres no cost to register, and youll have the additional benefit of joining rooms that also deal with other cell phone related services, features and issues.
Brand-Specific Sites for Posting Reviews In addition to the more generic websites that offer the chance to read or post reviews, specific carriers often afford the same opportunity. In many cases, by simply visiting a carriers website, links will be given that guide you to an area that allows you to post your review or read those that have been posted by other users. How to Write Cell Phone Reviews Once youve established where to go in order to submit a review, youll need to know the best way to present your opinion so that other readers will have a clear picture of what it is that youre trying to impart. Here are a few things that youll need to keep in mind before committing your words to that cyber-page:
Be specific about the make and model of the cell phone thats being referenced in your review. Dont simply use the manufacturers or carriers name include the name and model of the particular phone that you wish to discuss. Dont try to fill your review with a lot of technical jargon. Most people who read reviews are looking for straightforward information that they dont have to use a dictionary in order to decipher. Only offer necessary information; dont get into the habit of trying to fill up a particular amount of space with words in order to meet the required amount of characters. Most sites dont require a minimum amount of characters, but many do have a maximum ceiling. Be brief without sacrificing critical information. Focus on features or services that will impact most cell phone users. In other words, if youre discussing a cheap long distance plan, thats fine. If, on the other hand, youre talking about the fact that you dont happen to like the particular color of the phone strap that you have, thats not going to be of much help. Try to stick to the facts without adding a lot of emotion-based attitudes. Objectivity is really the goal, even though youre speaking from personal experience. After all, there are all kinds of reviews, but that doesnt mean that theyre all helpful. Whether youre writing from personal experience or from information that youve gathered from others, be sure to present only the facts when you decide to write a review, and please remember that professionalism is always appreciated and, in most cases, required. About the Author Samantha Goode is a freelance technology writer who loves to provide tips to consumers shopping for [http://www.a1-cell-phones.com/cell-phone-comparison.html]cheap cellular phones, [http://www.a1-cell-phones.com/index.html]cell phone ratings and [http://www.a1-cell-phones.com/cell-phone-reviews.html]cell phone reviews. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samantha_Goode http://EzineArticles.com/?Cell-Phone-Reviews---Reaping-the-Benefits-Of-Online-Wireless-Reviews&id=52238 order xanax
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www.epinions.com Opportunities to both read and write cell phone reviews are available on this website, in addition to similar surveys that can be inspected or taken by eligible participants. A form is provided in order to write a review, and a specific number of characters is given in order to accomplish the task. By writing a brief, concise report, your comments will be added to the database, and a star value will be assigned to the particular cell phone carrier that youve reviewed. www.mpedia.com This site is actually a public forum that allows you to read and write cell phone reviews once youve joined the group. Theres no fee attached, but you must choose a login name and password in order to become a member of the community and enjoy the benefits that it has to offer. Of the many chat rooms that are contained within this particular forum, the one for cell phone reviews is clearly marked, so its quite user friendly. www.cellphone-reviews.net Although there may be a bit more navigating to do in order to write and submit a review on this site, the pathway is clearly marked, and you can choose to write your assessment of a particular phone by simply clicking on the header for the specific model. This site offers the extra perk of providing clearly written instructions on how to write a review, in case you have any questions before you begin. Once you access their web address, simply click on the Cell Phone Reviews tab, then click on the particular model of phone that youd like to review and click on the Write an Online Review link in the middle of the page. Youll be able to post your own comments, in addition to reading those which have already been submitted by others. www.discusswireless.com This, too, is set up as a public forum, but the difference is that each chat room offers reviews for a specific brand of cell phone. By choosing a user name and password, you can click into any of the rooms and read or write reviews for any of the models that are intrinsic to that brand of cell phone. Theres no cost to register, and youll have the additional benefit of joining rooms that also deal with other cell phone related services, features and issues.
Brand-Specific Sites for Posting Reviews In addition to the more generic websites that offer the chance to read or post reviews, specific carriers often afford the same opportunity. In many cases, by simply visiting a carriers website, links will be given that guide you to an area that allows you to post your review or read those that have been posted by other users. How to Write Cell Phone Reviews Once youve established where to go in order to submit a review, youll need to know the best way to present your opinion so that other readers will have a clear picture of what it is that youre trying to impart. Here are a few things that youll need to keep in mind before committing your words to that cyber-page:
Be specific about the make and model of the cell phone thats being referenced in your review. Dont simply use the manufacturers or carriers name include the name and model of the particular phone that you wish to discuss. Dont try to fill your review with a lot of technical jargon. Most people who read reviews are looking for straightforward information that they dont have to use a dictionary in order to decipher. Only offer necessary information; dont get into the habit of trying to fill up a particular amount of space with words in order to meet the required amount of characters. Most sites dont require a minimum amount of characters, but many do have a maximum ceiling. Be brief without sacrificing critical information. Focus on features or services that will impact most cell phone users. In other words, if youre discussing a cheap long distance plan, thats fine. If, on the other hand, youre talking about the fact that you dont happen to like the particular color of the phone strap that you have, thats not going to be of much help. Try to stick to the facts without adding a lot of emotion-based attitudes. Objectivity is really the goal, even though youre speaking from personal experience. After all, there are all kinds of reviews, but that doesnt mean that theyre all helpful. Whether youre writing from personal experience or from information that youve gathered from others, be sure to present only the facts when you decide to write a review, and please remember that professionalism is always appreciated and, in most cases, required. About the Author Samantha Goode is a freelance technology writer who loves to provide tips to consumers shopping for [http://www.a1-cell-phones.com/cell-phone-comparison.html]cheap cellular phones, [http://www.a1-cell-phones.com/index.html]cell phone ratings and [http://www.a1-cell-phones.com/cell-phone-reviews.html]cell phone reviews. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samantha_Goode http://EzineArticles.com/?Cell-Phone-Reviews---Reaping-the-Benefits-Of-Online-Wireless-Reviews&id=52238 order xanax
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Friday, January 4, 2008
Fishing
By Steve Valentino Fishing is an activity of hunting fish or aquatic animals such as cool water fish, warm water fish, various types of shellfish as well as squid, octopus and turtles with a rod, line and hook. It is a popular, ancient practice involving many techniques and traditions. Also called angling, fishing originated as a means of seeking food for survival. Fishing traces its roots back to the Mesolithic period that began about 10,000 years ago. It is the major occupation of many coastal inhabitants. The catches vary according to the season and fishing place. Basically, there are three types of fishing - beach, rock fishing, and boat fishing. The method of fishing varies according to the region, technology available and species being fished. Fishing tackle, fishing rods, fishing reels, hooks and fishing lures are commonly used fishing equipment. Some of the traditional fishing techniques are hand fishing, spear and bow fishing, kite fishing and dynamite or blast fishing. Fishing for commercial purposes has become a big business. Trawling, seining, drift netting, hand lining, long lining, gillnetting and diving are common commercial fishing techniques. Recreational fishing is mainly for pleasure or competition and is done with a rod, line and hooks attached to any of a wide range of lures or baits. Fishing competitions are organized for fishermen to compete for prizes. Falls River Drainage, New Jersey Striper Fishing, Connecticut Striper Fishing, Conasauga River, Lake Logan Martin and Lake Amistad are some of the best fishing destinations. Fishing clubs offer countless opportunities for fishing from streams to rivers, canals, and lakes. tommie@toppayingkeywords.com Fishing provides detailed information on Fishing, Fly Fishing, Fishing Boats, Deep Sea Fishing and more. Fishing is affiliated with Deep Sea Fishing Boats. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Valentino http://EzineArticles.com/?Fishing&id=196829 cheap online pharmacies xanax cod
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Gardening - Lawn Maintenance Chores Part VI
By Michael Russell In this sixth article in our series on lawn gardening chores we're going to discuss a little about maintaining your lawn using a low maintenance program. There are several reasons that someone might choose a low maintenance program for their lawn. One reason is expense. Maintaining a lawn so that it looks like a professional job takes a lot of money. Seed is not cheap, neither is soil, fertilizer, chemicals and tools. Maintaining a lawn on high maintenance can cost you hundreds of dollars a year or more. Some people just don't have the extra money. Another reason someone might choose a low maintenance program for their lawn is time. They may work a very demanding full time job requiring lots of overtime or may even have more than one job. Maintaining a lawn on high or even medium maintenance requires a lot of time and some people just don't have it. Another reason people might choose a low maintenance program is because they are physically unable to do the work required, such as the elderly, people who have allergies or people who just simply do not have a green thumb and wouldn't have a clue where to begin. Other reasons could be that their lawn is situated so that it is difficult to care for, such as lawns that are on high hills or have trees all around. For these people low maintenance is hard enough. Then there are those people who are just plain lazy. The last thing they want to do is spend their time on the lawn mowing, raking, seeding, fertilizing, laying down chemicals and weeding. They'd much rather be inside watching a good ball game. So just what is involved in a low maintenance program? Actually, not very much. For starters you'll probably only cut your lawn once every 3 or 4 weeks unless it rains so much that the grass grows to the point where the town comes and threatens to give you a summons. Some people only mow their lawn every 6 weeks, especially in the summer. And then after the grass is cut the trimmings are left on the lawn in order to regenerate nitrogen. As for fertilizing, you might do this once per each season. Some people only fertilize once a year and others not at all. These type of lawns are allowed to go dormant during the hot summer months. The leaves are allowed to turn brown and the appearance looks quite dried out. Basically, these lawns rely on natural conditions for survival. If the summer is hot and dry then most likely the grass will die as people who choose a low maintenance program never water their lawns. These lawns are usually only green during the cooler months where there is enough rain to keep them green. Many parks adopt a low maintenance program because there just isn't enough time and money in the town budget to care for these large areas. However, there are some residential people who for whatever reason stated above just let their lawns go the way of the weather. -------------------------------------------------------
Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Gardening
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Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Gardening
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